


An Imperfect Alphabet

by Dreadful Weather Today (TearoomSaloon)



Series: A List of Love, Loss, and Desperation [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Sort of? - Freeform, alphabet soup, word meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 04:35:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1332091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearoomSaloon/pseuds/Dreadful%20Weather%20Today
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An imperfect alphabet, though you tried too hard to be perfect. They're not quite letters, and they're not quite about love, if you can call it love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Imperfect Alphabet

**Author's Note:**

> I blame JadeLupine for everything, especially the word idea.

_Atelophobia – Fear of imperfection, or the fear of not being good enough_

            His fingers were restless against the silk of his tie. Each knot was so slightly wrong, so slightly crooked and off-centered. She wouldn’t notice, but his mind would never stray from the tie if it weren’t perfect.

 

_B’shert – The seeking of a person who will compliment you, and whom you will complement perfectly_

            She was rough around the edges, like an unpolished stone, but she had a good heart. He was beautifully cut and faceted, but his soul bled black bile. She drank beer from a can and couldn’t name more than two Schubert suites, but he loved her. _Oh_ , did he love her.

 

_Basorexia – A strong craving or hunger for kissing_

            Saying he wanted to eat her up was an understatement.

 

_Cafuné – The act of tenderly running one’s fingers through someone’s hair_

            His hair was fluffy and light after a shower and on days where he didn’t leave the house. She’d make every attempt to glide her fingers through it on these days, and though he frowned at this game of hers, something behind his eyes would flicker gold.

 

_Charmolypi – A mixed feeling of happiness while being sad_

            He wanted to smile for Will, but the entire experience just made his hands twitch for dinner plates and a hot, seasoned pan.

 

_Dérive – A spontaneous journey on which the subtle aesthetic contours of the landscape and architecture subconsciously entice the traveler_

            Of course they didn’t go to Paris— _everyone_ went to Paris. They went with friends to Italy and got lost around tiny villages and bustling towns. She wouldn’t have traded it for France, not once.

           

_Elmosolyodni – To slowly break into a genuine smile while being overcome with emotions, like love or utter happiness_

            This time when he presented her rose tomatoes, he made sure she looked, and was rewarded as her eyes widened with her smile.

 

_Fika – A social coffee break with one’s colleagues, friends, date, or family, usually accompanied with sweet, baked goods._

            They had both been dragged to a meeting with a circle of friends from the department for coffee. She hadn’t realized how charming the devil’s smile was before. It was then she began to wish it were she with whom he was having an affair.

 

_Gunnen – To allow someone to have a positive experience, especially if that means you won’t have it (always with an element of sympathy)_

            The tired grin he wore as he shooed her from his home was heartbreaking; it wasn’t right, they were in a student-teacher relationship, and besides, that candidate working under Hofstra seemed interested in her. But yes, if she really needed to know, there was a spark.

 

_Hypophernia – A feeling of sadness with seemingly no cause_

            Sometimes when she read, she’d become so transfixed by certain words that they would bounce around her brain until she was consumed by their connotations, their presence. They’d sting, and usually she couldn’t figure out why, but something deep inside knew why, and it always drew back to him.

 

_Ineffable – Incapable of being expressed or described in words_

            She was like a…a…bird, maybe, or a flower, but…oh, screw this. He crumpled the paper and chucked it at the litterbin, missing. When had _he_ gotten sappy about a woman?

 

_Je l’ai câlissée là – To break up with a romantic partner in a painful or abrupt way_

            He was no good for her, how could she not see that? He was no good for anyone, he grumbled, stabbing at a brain with his fork.

 

_Karelu – The mark left in the skin when clothes are too tight_

            He would trace his fingers down the indents on her back left by those ridiculous bras she wore. Sometimes, when he left angry red marks along where the wires cut into her skin, she wouldn’t remember her undergarments in the morning.

 

_Kleinod – An inconsequential object, perhaps not necessarily evident at first glance but hold great value and deep personal significance_

            Ticket stubs, old wine corks, bottles of shells from the places he’s been. She beamed at the sentimental collection of junk on his bureau while he slept. It was surreal, seeing the man in the flesh and the man in the trinkets where he kept himself.

 

_Lítost – A state of agony and torment caused by the sudden sight of one’s own misery_

            The tears didn’t even slow down when her breath hitched. She had suspected it for some time but never wanted it to be true. Her stomach reeled and she felt the nausea kicking in. He couldn’t—he was—how had she just swallowed up the lies like she’d swallowed up the evidence?

 

_Mörderbraut – An attractive woman; lit. “a murderer’s bride”_

            She was stunning. It was expected, really, especially since he would kill for her—and probably already had, too.

 

_Niedosyt - the state of unfulfillment, unsaturation, dissatisfaction, a lack of sufficient satisfaction of a need._

            He left her in this dizzying state of need. He _could_ let her finish and free the trapped want in her throat, but instead he took her right to the edge and refused to push her off. In response she would pull at his hair and bite his neck until he gave her release.

 

_Oculoplania – Letting one’s eyes wander while assessing someone’s charms_

            She was different from the others, he noted, watching how she carried herself, smelling the determination and wit in the aroma of petaled roses coating her skin.

 

_Petrichor – The smell of earth after rain_

            He would find her outside after the summer rains. She was always sitting on her front porch with a book and a glass of lemonade, never fully paying attention to either.

 

_Pluviophile – A lover of rain_

            She liked that his house had a covered deck. They’d sit together in quiet and watch as the storms rolled across the bruised sky.

 

_Querencia – A place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home_

            He gave her a key once, and he never stopped regretting it. He would come home drained and bloodied, wanting nothing more than to collapse into bed only to find there was a houseguest curled up in his duvet.

 

_Resfeber – Nervous feeling before undertaking a journey; the restless race of a traveler’s heart before the journey begins, when anxiety and anticipation tangled together_

            Everything about this was wrong. The ticket, the fake passport, everything. Wrong and exciting.

 

_Rudenèja – The way the nature and/or the weather begins to feel like autumn_

            Crisp apple mornings meant V-neck sweaters and frazzled hair. The scent of pie clung to her clothes and she found they smelled more like home than home did.

 

_Sehnsucht – “The inconsolable longing in the human heart for we know not what”; a high degree of intense, recurring, and often painful desire for something, particularly if there’s no hope to attain the desire_

            How much he wanted to tell her, but how much he desired to eat her after whispering the darkness into her ears. Watching her chest rise slowly on the sofa, he vowed to do neither unless there was no hope left.

 

_Tingo – To borrow from a friend until he has nothing left; the act of taking objects one desires from the house of a friend by gradually borrowing all of them_

            First he borrowed little bits of her time. Then her appetite, her earrings, hairties, lacy underwear, gasps from her throat, and her desire to move. He borrowed everything from her until she herself became his.

 

_Usha – To enjoy looking at the opposite gender, appreciating their beauty by staring_

            There was something terribly handsome in his features. Sculpted, but not quite divine. She tried her best not to stare, mostly because he was her mentor.

 

_Vorfreude – The joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures_

            She counted down the hours until weekends, and in those hours she spent too much time dreaming about the weekends.

 

_Wabi-sabi – The beauty of things that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”_

            He was aloof and well balanced, but something about that distance made him seem a bit…funny. Odd. It broke his spell of perfection, and she loved it.

 

_Xalāṣ – Something is completely and irrevocably done, finished, and over_

            She had fallen in love with him—another milestone she’d never wanted to cross, right after being attracted to him and sleeping with him.

 

_Yuputka – The phantom sensation of something crawling on one’s skin_

            He could feel her fingers ghost across his skin when she was miles away, asleep, and far from his touch.

 

_Zweisamkeit – The harmonious, often romantic togetherness of two people; a feeling of closeness or affection from being together with someone_

            She bled into him in a way she didn’t think possible. They were two tributaries meeting at the heart of a grand river. He was north, she was south, and they intersected perfectly. It scared her—he was so dark, so crooked, but he encompassed her, made her whole in a violent way she had never desired. She anticipated his touch, and she melted with it.


End file.
